when you're here, you're family...and we make fun of you.
MICHAEL: You haven’t auditioned yet?
TOBIAS: Oh, no, no. I’m not in the group yet. No, I’m afraid I just blue myself.
MICHAEL: There’s got to be a better way to say that.
A Letter to David Cross. by: Sarah Ashley
Dear David Cross,
I would like to begin by apologizing for spilling Canada Dry all over page 61 of your new book, “I Drink For a Reason”. It’s kind of ironic when you think about it, because at the time, I was drinking for a reason: I was thirsty. Also, I support dry Canadians.
Upon further reading, I couldn’t help but notice the improper use of the word “then”. Twice (twice!) you use “then” when it should be “than”. Now, I may be a product of the American public school system, but we learned the difference between those two words in 2nd grade, right after conjunctions (you + are = you’re). Since I think you’re a genius, I will let this slide because…
I think your book is hilarious. It actually made me laugh out loud, which only Gary Larsen’s “A History of the Far Side” and the “E” book of the Encyclopedia Britannica have been able to do. Rainn Wilson (yes, the Rainn Wilson) once convinced me not to bone you because I said I was going to. Well, this book makes me reconsider that notion because it’s so good. I will pause here for an excerpt from your book to prove my point:
If you are on a long flight, bring onboard one of those S & M black leather, one-piece masks with no eyeholes and just a zipper for the mouth. Wear it, and when someone inevitably complains, explain that it’s your “sleep mask” and you would appreciate not being disturbed. Try to do this in an aisle seat and keep your head as far out into the aisle as possible. At some later point, order a glass of wine and drink it with the mask on through your zipper hole. Then, with the mask still on, complain about how the movie is not “family friendly” enough. Also fart and get frustrated at not being able to smell it.
-“Things to Do When You Are Bored” chapter
I feel like I can relate to you on a lot of levels because I also spent a lot of time in Michigan (which you often mention in the Scrapbooking chapter); I don’t really care for Bill O’Reilly; I consider myself an atheist; I, too, would love to see a YouTube video of a baby throwing up into a stranger’s mouth; and the same parents that bought me this book also registered a star named after me with the International Star Registry, of which you deliciously make fun on page 41. While I agree with you that naming a star after your kid isn’t the most tangible gift, this book certainly is, so they can’t be completely off their rockers.
Finally, I just want to thank you for glancing at lil’ ol’ me sitting in the seat farthest to the right in the first row of your stand-up show in Chicago way back in October. It was so funny, except you didn’t reenact some of my favorite “Mr. Show” sketches like I thought you would. Also, please tell the people who run that theatre that their organizational system for ticket holders waiting in line is retarded. I think they’d listen to you.
Love,
Sarah Ashley
Look at that Punim!
David Cross is totally today’s Punim because he had an amazing set last night and THe Era was laughing the whole way through!!!!! Sooo funny and smart. Loved the flannel too, DCross. Keep it up.
David Cross’ author description from his new book is genius, specifically the last line.
DAVID CROSS!!! THE ERA WILL BE SEEING YOU OCTOBER 4th.
let’s bone!
This is a sketch from Mr. Show starring David Cross and Bob Odenkirk. It used to be on HBO but……. not….. anymore [I’m crying]. These two guys are brilliant and this is just one of many amazing sketches from their 4th season, “The Story of The Story of The Story of Mount Everest.”!!!!!!!!!
The Era
We are Dara & Sarah!
We are Chicago comedians, students of improv, commentators on life, liberty and the eclectic quirkiness that is this time. We are THE ERA.
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