when you're here, you're family...and we make fun of you.
Foody Heads Review: McDonald’s
This past week I flew back to my home town, Chicago AKA the land of deep dish and hot dogs! Trust me, I got my fill of Chicago-style food–um, have you met my parents before? And while I ate like royalty, it was all my food favorites I’ve had before and I felt a tang of sadness on the way to the airport realizing I had not ventured outside of my realm at all. I realized quickly I should cheer up. After all, I was heading to international foodie heaven, O’hare International Airport!
My parents dropped me off at the terminal and boy did I make my way through security like nobody’s business–I had business to take care of! I was in terminal 3–totally different from term 1 or 2. I made my way to my gate, found someone who didn’t look like a terrorist and asked them to watch my bag while I did some research!
WELP we’ve opened a new can of worms.
The Era is proud to announce the official launch of their brand new, pretentiously artistic food blog.
We review all the finest restaurants and recipes we can get our hands on.
Our Mission:
If food be the soul of life, eat on.
The Foody Heads live by these words. We all live by food. It nourishes our hearts and minds. It fills our bellies with succulent joys that make beautiful an otherwise stark world. Simply, we celebrate food as art.
We worship the bright red of a tomato and the deep green of a cilantro sprig. The kitchen be our studio and the fork our brush! Ne’er wilt we stray from the path that offers us salty and sweet! No taste will go untasted and no meal will go untried! Our heads are filled with food and our hearts are also filled with food!
Always hungry for more, we seek out the most delicious recipes and restaurants for our readers. Our mission is to serve up a steaming hot plate of food passion, as artfully and nimbly as a seasoned pizza delivery boy.
Please, have a seat. Join us for dinner, won’t you?
10 Halloween Costumes I’ve Been Through the Years
By Dara Katz
1. A pumpkin
2. A chicken
3. An Energizer battery
4. Max from Where the Wild Things Are
5. Alexander Hamilton
6. A sexy pumpkin
7. A sexy chicken
8. A very sexy Energizer battery
9. A sexy Max from Where the Wild Things Are
10. A sexy bird lady from Home Alone 2. (well, that will be this year’s!)
The basic tip for turning a normal Halloween costume into a super sexy Halloween costume substituting pants for hot pants and wearing a lot of eyeliner.
Happy Halloween!
A List Of Interesting People Who Did Not Grow Up In New York City
By Dara Katz
Let me begin by saying that I moved to New York City because it’s New York City. You get it. I get it. Jay-Z gets it. We get it. I’m not going to elaborate on what makes New York City New York City. I’m just trying to clarify that I understand — and believe in — the big great magic of this big great city. But, you don’t have to be born and/or raised here to be a big great person. This may seem obvious, but to several people, some native to the island and some not, strangely enough, being born/raised in NYC equates to being interesting and being born/raised outside of it, say, in a suburb (please, Native Manhattanites, don’t hate me forever for mentioning this word here!) means you are a farmer who allows your baby to play with guns and worse, watches network television.
Here’s the interaction I had that fueled this piece:
Me: I’m from the suburbs.
Lady: I moved away from the suburbs and to the city because I don’t want my kid to be boring.
Translations of Personalized 1-800-FLOWERS Notes
By: Dara Katz
Thinking about you during this time.
I’m awkward with this shit.
Happy birthday!
I’m obligated to send you a gift, but too self-consumed to realize it was your birthday before logging into Facebook this morning.
Thank you!
This bouquet of unripe fruit is costing me more than the parking ticket you got me out of.
It’s a boy!!!! Congrats!!!!
We’ll just forget about that convo we had where you said, and I agreed with, that your upbringing and personality render you incapable of raising children.
Welcome to the neighborhood!
I made a Jello mold but got nervous that you wouldn’t get that it was ironic in a cute way, so instead I sent these.
This too shall pass.
Everyone at overnight camp said this to me when I got the letter that my family put our dog down, and now it’s the only way I know how to express empathy.
You are so strong, but sometimes we all need a little help :)
Maybe you should see a therapist. You should definitely see a therapist, but you are too crazy for me to tell you that.
You did it!
You did it. I acknowledged it. Let’s move on.
Be mine?
Everyone said be more aggressive and here I am asking you a question.
These cost $80.
I love you.
Stay strong. If anyone can get through this, you can.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Sarah Silverman Takes On Voter ID Laws of the Day: Girlfriend makes a good point. Several, actually.
(Not Safe For Work — obvs Sarah Silverman.)
Sarah Silverman wants everyone to be able to vote!!!!!!! She’s amazing.
Chicago Tribune on the new Chicago SNL hires!!!
It was hard not to laugh out of pure excitement just seeing these performers on SNL over the weekend!! Very proud of all of them and cannot wait to see what they do this season.
SpongeBob Squarepants Prom Themes
By: Sarah Ashley
Bikini Bottoms Up!
A Pineapple A Day Keeps The Blues Away
SquareDance
Are Ya Ready? Ya Better Be!
Under The Sea
Nautical Nonsense
Something You WIsh
Krabby, Patty? Dance With Me!
Plank-Ton-O-Fun
We’re All Patrick STARS
Porous Some More Punch
Yellow There! Dance With Me?
Krusty Krabaret
Soak Up The Love
Drop on the Deck and Dance Like a Fish
Big Kisses on Sandy Cheeks
Mermaid Men and Barnacle Boys
Tartar Saucy Moves
Magic Conch Love
Goo-ey Love Lagoon
Moving Squidward, Not Backwards
Crustacean Celebration
Fruit ne’er tastes as sweet as amongst thine company of good friends and/or an unlimited stream of Breaking Bad episodes on Netflix.
Treatment to the Gallery Girls Episode You Wish Existed
By: Dara Katz
The episode begins with a cold open set in a cave in Williamsburg as CHANTAL exerts all the skeletal muscle in her wilting little anime frame to lift a shovel. She’s burying the lifeless body of her most recent homicide victim, Spencer, that Asian fetish-consumed boyfriend of hers. As the camera pans out to reveal other unburied remains, to not much surprise, we discover she is a serial killer. The murder happens off screen, but we do catch a glimpse of vampire-esque bite marks in Spencer’s neck. She ultimately cannot lift the shovel, so instead she lights a cigarette and heads out of her murder cave to that other hollow of death, End of Century.
Read the rest at ThoughtCatalog
Climb every mountain until you find your earring. (Stop wearing jewelry on hikes.)
Haikus About Job Hunting
By: Sarah Ashley
Everything is
a distraction. Even that
pile of cords there.
***
I reward myself
with TV for accomplish-
ments too small to see.
***
Over-qualified.
search search search search search search search
Under-qualified.
***
I feel like my prey
Is an animal that is not
Indigenous here.
***
Wearing pajamas
Almost afraid to find work
Cause I loathe pant suits
***
Start ups are so chill!
Hip! Young! Smart! Sleek! Witty! Fun!
Too cool for rules, dude!
***
Like a vacation
Only boring, pricier,
and you go nowhere.
***
COVER LETTERS: Worse
than a bad tattoo on your
face of a Care Bear.
***
Random auditions.
Maybe I’ll be discovered!
O, desperation.
The Era
We are Dara & Sarah!
We are Chicago comedians, students of improv, commentators on life, liberty and the eclectic quirkiness that is this time. We are THE ERA.
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